A Life of Purpose, a Career of Compassion and the American Dream
Larisa
Normatova-Fleysher’s story came to the pages of our magazine thanks to her
mother, Nina Normatova, who has been actively involved with Ladies’ World
and the women’s organization Esther-a-Malka for many years. Like any mother,
Nina spoke of her daughter with love and admiration. But when I got to know
Larisa better and learned more about her life, I realized that she was a
remarkable woman whose story truly deserved to be shared with our readers. I
also want to thank her wonderful parents, Nina and Alik Normatov, for raising
such an extraordinary daughter.
I
recently found out that Larisa celebrates her birthday in November. I
warmly congratulate her on this special occasion and on all she has
accomplished throughout her life! I’m delighted that these achievements now
include being featured on the cover of our magazine and having the opportunity
to share her inspiring success story with our readers.
More than thirty years ago, her family began a new life in America with almost
nothing. Today, Larisa works at one of the leading cancer care hospitals in Connecticut.
She earned her education, met her husband, built a family and established herself
professionally. Looking back on the road she has traveled, she reflects on what
has come to matter the most.
Our conversation is about choices and calling, love and motherhood, Jewish
traditions, and what the American dream means to Larisa herself.
– Larisa, when your family came to America, what were
those early years like, and how did your own path begin to take shape?
– When we came to America
from the former Soviet Union, we barely spoke English, had almost no money, and
knew very few people. But we believed we could build a better life here and accomplish
a great deal.
Today, my parents and brothers
Uriel and Ruben with their wives, Olga and Zoya, own a wholesale family-run kosher
bakery – this was achieved through their hard work. My father is a man of very few
words, but when
he speaks, he offers valuable advice, encouragement, and words of wisdom. My mom is the glue that holds our family
together. There is no other
person in the world who is more important to
her than our family, and
she shows it every single day.
My
own path took a different direction. I enrolled at Sacred Heart University in
Connecticut on a scholarship and graduated with a bachelor’s degree in nursing.
Later, I continued my education to become an Advanced Practice Provider. At the
time, I still didn’t know what specialty I would choose – that came later.
While in school, I became
especially interested in lymphedema among breast cancer patients. I chose the subject
for my capstone project, and, completely unexpectedly, my article was selected for
publication in the British Journal of Nursing. It was both an enormous joy and a
wonderful surprise.
– What did your parents give you? What
qualities, values, or life lessons helped shape the person you are today?
My parents are hardworking
people. It
is only through their dedication and hard work that we are where we are today. Both came from humble beginnings. As the
oldest son, my dad had to help
his mother financially with raising his four siblings, started working at 17 when
his father passed away. My mother had to take care of my chronically ill
grandmother until she passed away when
my mother turned 21. Both of my parents’ lives were difficult, but they persevered
and were able to build a comfortable life for the three of us. My parents are my guiding light, my forever example
that it's possible to achieve anything as long as there is a goal in mind.
– Not only were you building your professional life,
but you also met your husband. How did your story begin, and what has more than
twenty years together taught you about love, marriage, and family?
–
I met Roman while I was working as a nurse in oncology in Stamford. His mother
was my patient. After our very first conversation, I immediately thought, “He
is going to be my husband.” In my mind, I started checking off the list: Jewish
– check, single – check, handsome – check, PhD in physics – check, loves his
mother – check.
Roman’s
mother was having a difficult time tolerating treatment, and when it became
clear that her health was declining, we decided not to wait until next summer
and got married in December. My mother helped us put everything together in
less than six months. Sadly, Roman’s mother was no longer well enough to attend
our wedding. By the end of the evening, she was taken to the hospital; Roman
and I went there straight from the reception – I was still wearing my wedding
dress and tiara. She peacefully passed away three days later.
The first years of our marriage
were not easy. We were dealing with the loss of someone we loved while working full
time, while I was still in school and while we were renovating our home, all at
the same time. Roman is my anchor and my voice of reason. No matter how difficult
his or my day may be, he is always available to take time to listen, to counsel,
and to reassure. He is my true partner in life, and I consider myself fortunate
to have met him.
– What changed your life when you became a mother?
What is most important for you to give your daughter, and what do you hope to teach
her?
–
Our daughter was born in 2011, three weeks premature. Almost immediately, we
learned that her red blood cell count was dangerously low, and she spent the
first eight days of her life in the neonatal intensive care unit. Those were
some of the hardest days of our lives. I think it was especially frightening
for me because, working in the medical field, I understood what was happening.
But our little girl pulled through, and we brought her home just in time for
Thanksgiving Day. Thanksgiving is always special to us – we truly have so much
to be thankful for.
Even before our daughter
was born, we had decided to name her in memory of Roman’s mother – after all, she
was the reason we met in the first place.
Motherhood,
as we all know, is both challenging and rewarding. One of the most memorable
moments of my daughter’s childhood is when she was about four years old and was
able to recite a prayer to our God. This memory is forever etched in my mind.
As she grows into a young woman, we continue teaching her about our religion
and the importance of teaching the next generations that we are the chosen
nation. Jewish mothers have a unique opportunity to teach children that being
Jewish means being kind, helping people in need, studying Torah, and living a
life in accordance with Jewish law.
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– You chose one of the most emotionally demanding
fields in medicine – oncology. Why did it become your specialty, and what
helps you see not only the pain in this work, but also the hope?
–
After completing my advanced practice nursing program, passing my board exam on
the first attempt, and becoming licensed, oncology felt like a natural choice.
I already knew the field, and I understood that cancer affects far more than
the person who receives the diagnosis. It changes the life of an entire family –
their relationships, finances, emotional well-being, and the way a person sees
themselves and their future. It is a difficult field. Every time one of my
patients dies, I feel as though a small piece of my heart goes with them. In
the past 20 years, oncology has made tremendous progress. Thanks to modern
treatments, many patients with even advanced-stage cancer can live long, full
lives. Research continues; treatments are becoming increasingly precise and
effective. This is what gives me hope. I am grateful to witness how modern
medicine is helping patients overcome cancer, with the possibility of complete
recovery for many.
– Both your profession and your family are deeply
important to you. With so many responsibilities and demands on your time, how do
you keep from losing yourself? And what does being a fulfilled woman mean to you
today?
–
At times it gets hard. As my parents grow older and I spend more time in New
York than at home in Connecticut, I rely on my husband to “hold down the fort.”
He keeps up with household chores. My husband is my true partner, and I would
not be where I am today without him being in my life.
– What does the American dream mean to you personally?
–
My daughter is a first-generation American, and I am especially aware of how
many opportunities are open to her today. To me, that is what the American
dream is about: knowing what you want, pursuing your goal, and being willing to
work hard to achieve it.
Interview by Dr. Zoya
Maksumova
