In December 2017, Ladies’ World
magazine named Larisa Zirkieva its Woman of
the Year 2017. At the time, she was the youngest woman ever to receive
this honorary title. Yet she was already a mother of five, a successful
businesswoman, and a highly accomplished professional.
That is exactly how I remember her: beautiful,
elegant, happy, standing on the stage surrounded by her children and her
wonderful husband. I especially remember his eyes—filled with love, pride, and
genuine happiness for the woman he loved. His kind smile spoke louder than
words.
Today, everyone in our community knows: Simcha is in Heaven, and Larisa is here among us.
The road she is walking is unimaginably difficult. And yet, she remains strong.
Recently, I listened carefully to Larisa’s
remarks at a memorial gathering, and I realized something: this young woman is
not simply intelligent—she is truly wise. Behind her words are deep faith,
profound life experience, and an understanding of what genuine happiness in
marriage and family really means.
I wanted as many people as possible to hear
her—young people, adults, and those of an older generation. Today, a recording
of her speech is being widely shared online and has already touched many
people, prompting countless heartfelt responses. But Larisa spoke in English.
And so I decided to share with the Russian-speaking readers of our magazine the
central thoughts of this extraordinary speech, devoted to something that
matters deeply to all of us—shalom bayit,
peace and harmony in the home.
What touched me especially was that Larisa had
not written her speech in advance and did not read from a prepared text. She
spoke from her heart. It was a promise she had made to her husband: to tell
people about the hand of the Almighty—about the way He guides us, strengthens
us in our most difficult moments, and helps us find the strength to go on
living.
Larisa grew up in a family that taught her
true emunah—a deep and abiding
faith in the Almighty. That is why, even in the midst of the most painful trial
of her life, she can see His plan and feel His support. She says that God has
surrounded her with extraordinary people who encourage her every day with the
words: “You will get through this. You can do it.”
Larisa and Simcha shared twenty-four happy
years together. Theirs was a beautiful family, filled with love, respect, and
mutual support. Larisa thanked the Almighty for every day she was given with
her husband. She says that with him, she lived a full and happy life, one in
which every day was a blessing.
“He was a true tzaddik,” she says. “He had
tremendous respect for me, and I respected him.”
With particular warmth, Larisa thanks her
husband’s parents, whom she calls Mom and Dad, for raising such a wonderful man
for her. She also speaks gratefully of her own mother, who, upon meeting Simcha
for the first time, immediately told her daughter, “This is your man.” And she
thanks her family, loved ones, friends, and the entire community for their
support.
Larisa believes that in life, each of us makes
a choice. We can see the hand of the Almighty even in our most difficult
trials, or we can surrender to despair and to the voice of the yetzer hara—the inclination toward
negativity and wrongdoing. When you feel that the Almighty is beside you, even
the hardest trial becomes easier to bear.
Speaking about her husband, Larisa emphasizes
that Simcha was an extraordinarily spiritual person. Seeing the tremendous
practical support the community has given her, she asks for something
more—spiritual support. She asks everyone who loved and respected Simcha to
take upon themselves a mitzvah—any mitzvah, sincerely and joyfully—and dedicate
it to the merit of her beloved husband’s soul, so that his soul may continue to
rise higher and higher.
There are several things Larisa said that I
would especially like to dwell on. They sound like more than memories. They are
lessons for life.
“When a husband and wife disagree, that is far
from the greatest problem life can bring. Learn to create shalom bayit—peace and harmony in your
home. Even when spouses do not argue openly, but show their irritation through
looks, gestures, or silence, children notice everything. My husband and I
always tried to be happy in front of our children so they could grow up in a
healthy atmosphere. And I ask my children to create peace in their own families
and to respect one another.”
Another thought stays with you:
“Sometimes the word ‘respect’ sounds
complicated, but really, it is very simple. Be kind. Be grateful to each other.
If your wife makes you something to eat, thank her. It’s that simple.”
With a smile, she recalls one little story:
“One day, I simply ordered food for delivery.
Simcha sat down at the table and said:
‘Bachim, thank you so much!’
I looked at him and said:
‘But I didn’t even cook it—I just ordered
it!’”
There is enormous wisdom in these simple
words. Gratitude requires no grand gesture, yet it is from gratitude that
respect, love, and happiness in a family grow.
Larisa remembers another story:
“No matter what I wanted—‘Honey, I want to go
on vacation’—he would say, ‘Let’s go.’ And we went.”
She speaks very movingly about the beginning
of their married life as well:
“When Simcha married me, his plan was to spend
five years traveling the world, then have two children and settle down
peacefully in our apartment. I told him:
‘No, you married the wrong woman. We are not
waiting. My biological clock isn’t getting any younger. We’re going to have
children. I want to be a young grandmother. And we’re going to have more than
four children.’
He took a deep breath. But because he loved me
so much, he said:
‘Okay, Bachim. We’ll have children.’
And I told him:
‘It would be a real sin not to have children
with a man like you. You are amazing!’”
Larisa has another piece of advice, this one
for husbands:
“Listen to your wives. We have a sixth sense.
We have intuition. If your wife is telling you something—listen to her.”
She constantly reminds her children that they
are part of their parents’ souls, that their mother and father will always be
with them, and that they must grow into good and worthy people their father can
be proud of.
Perhaps the most poignant words of all are
those Simcha left his wife:
“Mourn me for one week. Just one. Then get up
and keep living.”
And today Larisa says:
“Now I am a widow. That has become part of my
life. But I will remain strong.”
At the end of her remarks, she spoke words
that, I believe, will remain in the hearts of everyone who heard them:
“We lost a great man. But he will remain in
our hearts forever. We will not let him down. May there be shalom bayit—peace and harmony—in every
home. May those who have not yet found their life partner find their soulmate.
And may those who dream of having children be blessed with children.”
These words have become more than a tribute to
a beloved man. They are a spiritual legacy for all of us.
Life once again reminds us of a simple but
profoundly important truth: a happy family cannot be built without mutual
respect, gratitude, and love. And what helps us preserve these feelings is deep
faith in the Almighty, spiritual values instilled in us from childhood, and the
daily willingness to bring happiness to the person closest to our heart.
Ladies’
World extends its deepest condolences to Larisa Zirkieva, her family,
relatives, loved ones, and the entire community on this profound loss. May the
Almighty help her endure this terrible sorrow and grant her the strength to
move forward with joy, peace, and well-being.
Dr. Zoya Maksumova
Editor-in-Chief
