My daily work with clients keeps bringing me back to the topic
of the subconscious – a powerful yet often underestimated realm. I am happy to
share these insights with my readers and continue the conversation in the pages
of my favorite magazine.
People often ask: Why return to the past? One must move forward.
That is true – but what if moving forward simply doesn’t
happen?
When life feels muted and joy becomes barely perceptible, a
person begins to live “at half-capacity.” The mind understands everything, yet
the emotions and body pull them back into old patterns. The same relationships
repeat, the same mistakes, the same inner explosions... And even small things throw
them off balance: criticism paralyzes, conflict causes them to freeze, and the
attention of others feels painful.
Some people develop a sense that they are living someone else’s
life, that something keeps them anchored in the past. Others may remain stuck
for years in a deep victim state. In any case, it is unfair to live outside
your own script!
What Is Really Happening
A person does not act from consciousness but from deep
subconscious programs. These programs were formed long ago, helped them survive,
but now have become outdated and interfere with their life. Working through old
patterns is no longer a luxury – it is a necessity.
When, during therapy, I see a person finally find their answer
and free themselves from this burden, it is priceless. Their breath becomes
lighter, their shoulders seem to straighten. Only then does the possibility of
looking forward – rather than backward – appear.
Signs of Deep Subconscious Scenarios at Work
To better understand how the subconscious “double bottom” operates,
here are just a few behavioral patterns:
1. Repeated behavior, even when a person “knows better.”
They wanted to speak calmly – yet exploded. Wanted to let go – yet
continued to cling.
Wanted to set a boundary – yet felt unable to say a word.
This is not a weakness; it is a program.
2. Reaction faster than thought.
Instant hurt, anxiety, fear of disappointing others – this is
the subconscious acting quicker than awareness.
3. The phrase: “I don’t know why this happens.”
The mind is not controlling the process; the cause lies much
deeper.
4. Intolerance of certain situations.
Criticism is unbearable, uncertainty frightening, the gaze of
others creates tension, and conflict causes a freeze response.
Here, the emotion outweighs the circumstances because old pain
lies beneath it.
5. Rapid emotional burnout.
Small things drain energy because a significant amount of
strength is spent suppressing old emotions.
6. A split between the “adult” and the “child” within.
The inner adult understands everything, but the inner child is
afraid and cannot act differently. This is a direct signal of a deep-rooted
issue.
7. A sense of a “muted life.”
Little joy, little flavor, little clarity. This is the effect of
long-term emotional suppression.
8. Behavior that “bends at the slightest breeze.”
A person reacts painfully to others’ words and moods, constantly
feels anxious, and anticipates a “dark streak” ahead. Their inner core is
weakened, and a small breeze feels like a storm – another sign of deep
subconscious programs.
9. Somatic symptoms and illnesses.
Believe it or not, the body expresses what the mind suppresses.
Often, this is deep guilt, self-punishment, or unresolved past
wounds.
How to Change the Situation
The subconscious does not intentionally hold us in the past – it
simply stores old strategies that were once helpful but are now outdated. The
task of an adult is to learn to distinguish this.
It is enough to honestly ask yourself: what in me is truly
mine, and what is an automatic defense that has long lost its purpose? And
the key question: what benefit do I get from holding on to it?
This is where inner work begins – calm, sober, and honest. It
restores the freedom to respond differently, the clarity of choice, and the
ability to stand firmly on your own feet even when the wind rises around you.
Sometimes one small step inward can start a great path of transformation.
If you feel inside that “it’s time” or “I can’t live
like this anymore,” do not postpone this work. It would be a shame to spend
the time life has given us for happiness, merely existing outside our own
script.
