Dear Rachel,
I look around and it seems
to me that every friend and family member is struggling with some kind of
suffering in their life. One has a terminal illness, another has a child with
demanding challenges, another has a difficult marriage or a spouse who suddenly
died, financial loss, etc. I myself am struggling with multiple difficult
issues and I’m trying to understand it all. Can you please help me make sense
of the suffering I see everywhere? How can I get through this?
Sincerely, Pained Soul
Dear Pained Soul,
It’s amazing that you are
sensitive to noticing the suffering of those around you. Many in the midst of
their own pain might think they are the only ones with big problems, that
everyone else seems to have it better than them. You are right, there is
suffering everywhere. You are not alone. Since we are not G-d and not at His
level of reasoning we cannot understand why these things happen. The answer is,
we were not meant to fully understand «why». Rather, our mission on earth in
our relationship to suffering is to understand how to deal with it. First we
have to put suffering in the correct context. We see what is only happening to
us in our immediate world, but we have to recognize that actually there is a
much bigger picture that is being played out that we cannot see. What happens
in life is interconnected in every which way to everything else. There is a
reason for everything that happens (that we don’t understand) and why it’s
important to know that G-d not only exists – but runs the world, including our
life. This is how trust in G-d develops and how without trust we cannot get
through suffering. The trust gives us strength so that we are not left feeling
as though life is just one big painful experience after another that leaves us
feeling utterly defeated and demoralized. The trust allows us to ask ourselves
– what if we took our suffering and instead of seeing the darkness in it, we
see our purpose in it? What if we took our own pain and instead of focusing only
on it, we seek to empathize with the pain of others by crying with them? What
if we went a step further and realized that this pain is not a hindrance or
weakness; but is a strength to be actualized – a deeply buried treasure which
is a wisdom that can only be discovered through suffering? Just like painful
childbirth can conclude with holding the most precious gift you will ever
receive, so too suffering can have the power to give birth to a deeper realm of
significance, one that will always challenge us to question – why do we care so
much about our pain or the pain of others? Maybe because it is a reminder of
what G-d brought us into this world to do. Because without pain, we would never
know how deeply we care. And if we care so deeply, then there must be a purpose
it exists for. I will pray for you to have trust in G-d to help give you
strength in all your challenges. B’Hatzlacha!
B’hatzlacha!
All the very best, Rachel
Trilokekar
Thank you to those who have
e-mailed me with their questions. If you would like your question to be
featured in the next issue of Ladies’ World, please e-mail:
RachelTrilokekar@gmail.com
