Dear readers,
We are excited to bring you another issue of our project “Peace at Home”.
Following up on our last issue, where we provided tips for mothers-in-law, this
month is focusing on tips for daughters-in-law. These suggestions may help to create
a harmonious family atmosphere in today's Jewish homes.
In the upcoming issue, we will interview
mothers-in-law to hear their recommendations and address any concerns they may
have. Additionally, we will provide practical examples and solutions that can
be applied to everyday life.
Just as we advised mothers-in-law to pray for wisdom and patience, we suggest
the same for the daughters-in-law. Realizing that you, young ladies, are
entering a new world filled with different ways of life, cultures, people, and
perspectives we are suggesting a few important tips:
1. Making the right choice and getting to know your family before
getting married is crucial. Physical attraction is essential, but it may fade
over time. You will need more than love and attraction to build a solid and
stable home where your children will grow into good people.
2. Be patient: Adapting to a new family takes time
and patience. It might not always be easy but try to approach challenges calmly
and patiently.
3. Show respect: Treat your in-laws respectfully and kindly as your
family would. Recognize that they have played an essential role in your
spouse's life and deserve your respect.
4. Communicate openly: Talk to your spouse and new family about your
thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Open and honest communication can help
resolve any issues or misunderstandings.
5. Understand differences: Every family is unique, and you may encounter
different traditions, values, and beliefs. Be open-minded and willing to learn
about and understand these differences. In addition, lower your expectations,
and please understand that your new in-laws can’t read your mind and don’t know
what you expect from a relationship with them. Be mindful of the age difference
and ask yourself: “Would my parents be okay with this if their daughter-in-law
would approach them with this situation?”
6. Establish boundaries: While respecting and appreciating your new
family, it is also important to set healthy boundaries. Small gestures and acts
of kindness can go a long way in building a solid relationship.
7. Show appreciation: Express gratitude and appreciation for the support
and love you receive from your new family. Small gestures and acts of kindness
can go a long way in building solid relationships.
Building a solid relationship with your new family takes time, effort, and
understanding from both sides. Be patient, and open-minded, and approach
challenges with respect and love.
The theory is excellent and a compass for a perfect life. However, we don’t
live in an ideal world, and issues start right after the marriage or even in
the middle of preparation for the wedding.
For your attention, we are offering to discuss a
real-life scenario brought to our attention from the mother-in-law's side.
“Dear Shalom Bait group, my son got married two
weeks ago. I invited newlyweds to the Shabbat for the first time. My daughter-in-law
brought a couple of pastries from the store but didn’t offer to help or make at
least some salads. My daughter is also married but always brings homemade
salads, baking, or both to her mother-in-law. I am agitated, and I want to tell
my son our ways so the next time she knows to bring some homemade dishes.”
What would be your advice, dear readers?
Attention: The “Shalom Bait”
group is inviting you to exchange different opinions based on your personal
life experience with the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law relationships.
The best bits of advice will be published in our next issue.
Sincerely,
Zoya Aminova
The «Shalom Bait» team
