After my two articles circulated on social media and
community chats, I received a flood of responses. Many people nodded in
agreement, some sent private messages saying, “You said what we were all
thinking,” and then – as with most things in life – the excitement died
down. People moved on to the next headline, the next wedding, the next outrage.
But the core issue remains. So here I am, not letting it go.
This follow-up is a gentle (but honest) reminder of
one of the many challenges plaguing our community. And maybe, just maybe,
someone in a position to make a difference will do something.
Let’s return to the wedding preparations. And no, I
don’t mean color palettes and charger plates – I mean the emotional workout
of two families trying to plan one event.
The truth is, when you’re planning a wedding, you’re not
just matching napkin folds. You’re getting to know your future spouse and their
parents, how they think, how they communicate, what matters to them. You’re
also discovering how you handle stress, disagreement, and unexpected
detours (like realizing two families define “simple” in very different ways).
Every person carries baggage – some zipped tight, some wide
open. Some challenges in life we overcome with ease, some with tears, and some…
we carry. Wedding prep brings all of that to the surface.
It’s not just the bride and groom who face a test. Parents
are often thrown into a blender of clashing tastes, differing budgets, and
decades of family dynamics. The key to surviving it all? One word: respect.
When things don’t go your way (and trust me, something
won’t), take a breath. Don’t jump to conclusions or deliver a monologue worthy
of a courtroom drama. Step back and look at the big picture. And even if you
still don’t agree, respond with grace. Often, it’s not what you say,
it’s how you say it.
Now, let’s talk about flowers. Yes, they’re gorgeous.
Yes, they transform space. But once the night is over, wouldn’t it be beautiful
if we did something meaningful with them?
Here’s an idea: have someone create small bouquets from the
centerpieces and gift them to women as they leave. Imagine a week later,
someone sees those flowers on their table and smiles – “That was such a beautiful
wedding.” The memory lives on.
And for the extra flowers? If they’re not being reused for
the next wedding (brilliant idea, by the way), donate them to nursing homes.
Picture it: fresh blooms brightening lonely rooms, bringing joy to people who
might not have visitors. That’s a legacy.
And food – ah, the food! If you’re serving a ten-course meal
at 11 PM, consider offering containers at the end of the night. Let people take
home what they couldn’t eat. Not everyone can polish off a steak Tomahawk at midnight.
But it warmed up the next day? Delicious.
Let’s lose the stigma. Being thoughtful isn’t embarrassing,
it’s generous. Let your wedding leave behind more than just a beautiful evening
– let it carry forward kindness, thoughtfulness, and lasting warmth.
Respectfully yours, Zoya Aminov
