Dear Rachel,
I have multiple health
issues: I am obese, with high cholesterol and high blood pressure. The truth
is, I want to change but I have tried many diets over the years and have always
gained the weight back. Each time, I feel like a failure. It’s easier just
accepting myself as I am and not doing anything about my health issues, except
that I want to live! I feel I am trapped. I hate that I get winded when I have
to take the stairs. I hate how I look in clothes. I hate how I feel weighed
down emotionally and I hate taking my blood pressure and seeing the high
numbers. But I am scared of doing anything about it. I cannot handle the
dietary restrictions, and feel miserable trying to exercise. How can I get
myself out of this dark hole and start to live the healthy life I always
wanted?!
Sincerely, Discouraged
Dear Discouraged,
I hear your frustration,
disappointment, and fears. Considering I don’t know yours or your family’s
medical history, which is important before giving health related advice, I will
share general advice that may apply to you and many others. Typically, when people
want to lose weight and be healthier, they look first to the outside to help
them – like a particular diet, or a magic supplement that works over night to
fix the problem quickly. Most people rarely start on the inside FIRST, and
that’s where it really counts. Starting on the inside means that you get real –
you stop blaming yourself and instead realize that you are in this world to
learn and to grow. You will make mistakes and you will learn from them. The
goals you struggle with and the mistakes you learn from are a part of G-d’s
unique mission for you in this life. Start to expect that the things you have
to overcome in life will not be easy – they will be difficult. Having said
that, you don’t want to set yourself up for failure. The key factor to
successful weight loss is not just losing the weight, but keeping it off. So
one has to look at not just what they eat, but HOW they plan on incorporating
lasting changes, including expecting some difficult moments and having a plan
to support you to overcome those times. Here are 10 tips: 1. There are no
mistakes, only learning lessons. Omit the shame and guilt, as it’s likely not
serving you well. 2. Losing weight is not black or white – you don’t have to do
it in a huge leap. Often, diets will promise you the world and you either
succeed or you fail. But it doesn’t have to be like that if you just focus on
what’s important. People forget how powerful habits are – breaking old habits
and creating new ones can be very difficult. The human brain seeks comfort and
tries to avoid pain so it is best to make tiny attainable steps towards change
and only add another tiny change once you have mastered the previous one. For
example, instead of starting with 30 minutes of exercise 6 days of the week,
start with 5 or 10 minutes. Once you’ve mastered this consistently, add another
5 minutes and continue till you reach your goal. 3. Avoid focus on the past!
Tell yourself: You are fully capable of becoming healthier and happy with the
choices you make. 4. Write a daily list of your victories (every time you made
positive choices for your mind, body and soul). It’s important you see your
successes in order to build on them – even small ones! 5. Stay committed for
the long haul! If you do something you later feel bad about it, don’t give up!
Start over again right away. Every moment is a new opportunity to learn and
grow. 6. Ask yourself questions about the choices you make such as – «Am I
really enjoying what I am eating or am I just finishing my plate out of habit?»
7. If you don’t have one, find a support person who will be there to listen, to
help you clarify your goals and give you the moral support you need…like a
friend, a health coach or both! 8. Keep your motivation going by reading
reliable nutrition and health articles on a regular basis. 9. Take out «I have
to…» from your vocabulary and instead substitute it with the words «I get to…»
because the fact that you have choices is an awesome privilege that not
everyone gets to have! Celebrate this by embracing a positive mindset. 10. In
order for your health goals to make a lasting impact, answer: What is your
mission in life? G-d gives everyone a mission. It could be simple, but must be
the core of what you stand for and what you wish to express in life. Here’s an
example: «My mission is to live life with purpose and make a difference in the
world. I want to live with integrity, peace of mind, an upbeat spirit and a
sense of adventure». Once you are done with this step, make a list of how being
healthy will help you positively support your life mission. Make this list as
long as possible! When you attach being healthy to your mission in life, you
have the best chance to make a lasting change. B’hatzlacha!
All the very best, Rachel
Trilokekar
Thank you to those who have e-mailed me with their questions. If you would like your question to be featured in the next issue of Ladies’ World, please e-mail: RachelTrilokekar@gmail.com
