Dear
readers,
In the last issue, I raised the topic of the impact of sister-in-law’s
toxic behavior on family relationships. In this issue, we continue to discuss
moderate self-care and behavior modification during the holidays, when all
relatives are traveling together, but some are vulnerable.
How do
you deal with extended family members from the husband's side who think too
highly of themselves because their family has PhDs, MDs, etc., look down on
in-laws, and don’t understand boundaries being crossed?
Navigating
relationships with extended family members who emphasize their professional
achievements requires establishing and communicating clear boundaries while maintaining
respect. Emphasize that everyone’s contributions are valuable and, if
necessary, limit interactions to protect your well-being. Open communication
with your spouse and support from understanding family members can help.
Address issues privately, stay confident and gracious, and consider
professional guidance if needed. Focus on common family values and maintain
perspective, remembering you can only change your reaction to others' behavior.
This approach fosters a respectful and harmonious family environment.
How do you handle
being a host during the holidays, managing expectations, and dealing with
family members who overstep boundaries?
Handling
holiday hosting involves balancing hospitality with maintaining personal
boundaries. Start by clearly communicating plans and expectations early on.
Delegate tasks to share the workload and ensure everyone feels included.
Establish boundaries by being direct about what is acceptable and gently remind
family members if they overstep. Create a comfortable environment, plan
activities to engage everyone, and stay organized to manage stress. Address
issues calmly and privately, using “I” statements to express concerns. Most
importantly, stay flexible and remember the holidays are about enjoying time
with loved ones, even if everything doesn't go perfectly. Remember, you can’t
change people, only your reactions to them. Think about the meaning of the
holiday and strive to make it as meaningful as possible. Consider what memories
you want to create for your kids. Ultimately, always prioritize your
well-being. Handling holiday hosting is challenging, but focusing on what truly
matters — cherished moments with family — can make it all worthwhile.
How do you deal with
unwelcome comments from family members?
Dealing
with unwelcome comments from family members requires staying calm, setting
clear boundaries, and using "I" statements to express your feelings.
You can redirect the conversation, limit engagement with persistently negative
individuals, and seek support from other family members or friends. Practicing
self-care is essential, as is addressing issues privately if you prefer not to
confront them. Using humor can sometimes defuse the situation, but always try
to understand the intent behind the comments. Remember, you have the right to
protect your emotional well-being and establish boundaries, even with family
members.
I hope the above
information was useful in shedding light on dealing with toxic people. I
understand it is difficult, but please remember that happy people won’t make
you uncomfortable. Don’t justify toxic behavior; try to limit your interactions
with such individuals. Preserve yourself and your health for you and your
family.
If
you find this information helpful or have other questions, please get in touch
with me at 718-687-6154. Your questions will be published anonymously.
Sincerely,
Zoya Aminov
