Children often mirror their parents' behaviors, a concept supported by both scientific research and spiritual teachings. Studies show that even at an early age, children imitate observed actions. In one experiment, 65% of 14-month-olds who watched a video of someone taking apart a toy replicated the action, compared to only 35% who had no demonstration. By 24 months, imitation increased significantly, with 90% of children copying the behavior after watching it, while only 10% did so without a demonstration. This highlights how children learn by observing everything they see, especially adults, and primarily their parents, shaping their habits, values, and emotional responses—both positive and negative—through their caregivers' behavior.
Kabbalistic
teachings reinforce this influence, suggesting that parental responsibility
begins even before birth. They emphasize that the most effective way to guide
children is through personal example—when parents live by strong values, their
children are more likely to follow in their footsteps.
Raising children by
example
The
essence of raising children isn’t in the words you speak but in the actions you
take. Kids learn by watching, not just listening. They absorb how you handle
challenges, treat others, and respond to life’s ups and downs. What truly
shapes them is not a single lesson but the consistency of your behavior in
every situation. When your actions align with your values—day in and day
out—you create a powerful, lasting influence that speaks louder than words ever
could.
However,
while parental influence is significant, children are not mere reflections of
their parents. As they grow, they make conscious choices about their identity,
sometimes embracing family traditions and other times distancing themselves from
them. Additionally, genetics play a crucial role in shaping behaviors such as
personality traits and preferences, proving that not all characteristics are
learned through observation alone.
The most important job in life
Raising
children is both the most challenging and the most rewarding job in the world.
While people may not always remember you, they will see the impact of the
children you’ve raised—those who bring kindness, integrity, and positive change
to society. That is your true legacy—one that no amount of wealth can buy but
one that lives on through the values and character you instill in the next
generation.
Heredity
plays a key role in shaping a child's temperament and tendencies, but parenting
is just as much about personal growth as it is about guidance. The key is to
continuously work on yourself—learning, evolving, and striving to break
negative cycles. By recognizing past mistakes and setting clear goals, you
create a healthier environment for your children, ensuring they inherit not just
your genes but your wisdom and resilience.
A powerful story illustrates this concept: Two brothers were raised by an alcoholic father. One grew up to be a successful, disciplined man who never touched alcohol, while the other became an alcoholic, struggling through life. When each was asked why they turned out the way they did, both gave the same answer: "I watched my father."
In another example, the father was very harsh and authoritarian with his
wife and son, which led them to secretly call him a Tyrant. However, when the
son started his own family, remembering and condemning his father's behavior,
he was exceptionally kind, affectionate, and loving toward his wife and
children, doing everything possible to create a warm and harmonious family
environment.
These examples demonstrate that in families with troubled parents, children
can grow up to be better than what they witnessed. They absorb everything they
see, yet they remain independent individuals. Their development is shaped not
only by their environment but also by their own choices. The role of parents is
to provide them with the best possible start, surround them with a worthy
example, and support them on their path to independence.
In the
end, while children often resemble their parents in many ways, they are also
shaped by their own experiences, choices, and innate traits—making them unique
individuals.
What do you think about this, dear readers? Do you
have any examples that confirm or contradict the ideas presented in the
article?
Sincerely
Zoya Aminov
