Everyone of us who has come to the United States has repeatedly heard the three principles that are so important in our immigrant lives: Who are we? Where do we come from? Where are we going? Thank G-d, the first two have been dealt with. We know that we are Bukharian Jews. We know our history, and there are a lot of books on this subject. We know where we are from. There is no problem with traditions - all of them are kept and celebrated, and even more faithfully than ever. But it is sometimes very difficult to answer the question "Where are we going?", especially when it comes to the attitude toward women in our community.Needless to say, modern Bukharian women, unlike their forefathers, have long ago proved their worth, not only as keepers of the home. Most of them are well educated, successful in their careers, endowed with intellect and wisdom. Among them there are many doctors, lawyers, teachers, writers, scientists, artists and cultural figures, and so on. They have reached these heights in the countries of the Muslim East, Uzbekistan and Tajikistan, where there has been a struggle for thousands of years against medieval obscurantism, which degrades women. The great achievement of this struggle was the dignified equality of women in the civilized Muslim world.
Coming to the United States, to the center of world civilization, some are trying to push us women off the road of progress to the margins of life, as they did hundreds of years ago, and to return to alien traditions borrowed from a savage Muslim environment. A vivid example of this is the desire of certain powerful members of our community, and lately even of the local media, to forbid women to share their memories of the deceased at funerals, without being bothered that often even the dumbest and most obtuse of men are not denied a voice at these mournful gatherings. They irritate the family of the deceased and the guests who have come to express their condolences with long, empty speeches, all the while admiring their "eloquence". Yes, in ancient times, the funeral gathering was a man's affair: only soldiers drank, sang, and spoke in memory of their fallen brothers. But today?! It is sad and shameful today, in the United States of America, in the twenty-first century, to submit to savage Muslim laws. One gets the impression that today they are trying to dress us in an invisible burqa...
This topic is old, it appears in the press, then disappears. I do not remember that in modern Dushanbe, even in very religious families, the question of whether a woman can speak or sing at a wake was discussed, and I have never had the "luck" to meet such a humiliating action on the part of religious figures.And in general, if we talk about our rights in moments of grief, don’t you think, dear readers, that true grief is a quiet grief and very, very personal? And so, heartbreakingly shouting mourners adding pain to tormented souls are also a tribute to the wild past, and lavish wake, reaching to absurdly noisy feasts! It is the sanctimony of today, which does not reflect true grief. It is no coincidence that more and more modern families spend the day in the circle of family and friends, where everyone can share their warm memories, which is very useful, as a matter of fact, for the education of the younger generation.
And what are your thoughts about all this ?
Editor-in-chief Doctor Zoya Maksumova
(October 2009, "Ladies’ World №101)
